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FATHER-CHILD RELATIONSHIP CHANGE: THE LIVED EXPERIENCE OF STAY-AT-HOME FATHERS
MASTER'S OF COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY THESIS
by Anjan Raymond-Bhatt

I had the privilege of interviewing several stay-at-home fathers in the process of completing my Masters' thesis last year. In speaking with these men, I asked them about their experience of being with their children and transitioning into the role of primary caregiver. I found that each man related to unique aspects of child-raising. Whether the focus was on teaching, scheduling or care-giving, the men I spoke with accessed heart-felt values to guide their parenting.

Fathers saw differences reflected in themselves, their children, and other relationships. They sensed change in their actions while growing in their awareness of children’s needs. They also described getting used to being the primary caregiver as they settled into a role in the home. This involved learning parenting skills and then applying those skills day-to-day.

As they learned to meet their children’s needs, several participants described how they became attuned to their children’s emotions and provided nurturing. They talked about getting to know their children better as individuals. The fathers reported becoming emotionally closer to their children, and changing how they dealt with difficult behaviours. In addition, they noticed that they'd experienced greater satisfaction of their own personal needs after becoming caregivers for their children.

Of course, the fathers experienced memorable and significant moments with their children. These times were highly satisfying, and reflected something crucial about being a father. These remembered moments seemed to capture the personal significance of each father-child relationship.

Being allowed to listen to all of these experiences was an honour. My own experience as an occasional stay-at-home dad fuelled my interest in this topic, and I was surprised to encounter the variety of principles that guided these fathers in their child-care. The opportunity to interview men from this small-but-growing community was a first in my development as a counsellor, and my EMPHATIC thanks go out to the men who consented to participate.

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